


Hold on

by ninak803



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, First War with Voldemort, M/M, Multi, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:22:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29759586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninak803/pseuds/ninak803
Summary: This is a sad, angsty lyrics fic. The song is Hold on by Chord Overstreet!
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin





	Hold on

**Author's Note:**

> Check notes for CW please!

_Loving and fighting_

_Accusing, denying_

_I can't imagine a world with you gone_

_The joy and the chaos, the demons were made of_

_I'd be so lost if you left me alone_

Sirius was driving way faster than allowed, rushing through the cold night. He needed to check. He needed to make sure the rumors weren't true. He couldn't live with himself anymore if they were.

He stopped in front of the Potter's house, got off his motorcycle and walked over to the main door, his wand raised high. Sirius swallowed hard, the door was slightly ajar, not a sound coming from inside.

He pushed the door open, but there was something keeping him from opening it fully, like an obstacle. Sirius' heart stopped beating, just to beat even faster afterwards. He tightened his grip on his wand, the tip glowing, then squeezed himself through the gap of the door.

He regretted it immediately.

His heart shattered into a million little pieces as his eyes landed on what was blocking the door, who was blocking it. 

His hands started shaking bad and he couldn't hold his wand anymore. It fell to the ground right next to James lifeless body, illuminating him in a surreal way.

No. No, this couldn't be real, this couldn't be James. No.

Sirius crouched down next to him, his hands moving over his body, searching for a pulse, searching for a breath, searching for any sign, that he was still alive.

_They took you away on a table_

_I pace back and forth as you lay still_

_They pull you in to feel your heartbeat_

_Can you hear me screaming “Please don't leave me”_

But there were none.

A sob escaped his mouth and Sirius pressed his hands over his mouth.

No.

He needed to get up, he needed to check on Lily. And Harry. Oh Harry…

Sirius took his wand again, still kneeling next to James' body.

“I am sorry. I am so, so sorry James.” he whispered as he carefully closed his best friend's eyes.

Then he got up again, his legs didn't feel strong enough to carry him, but he forced himself to go further, to go up the stairs. 

Upstairs he heard a soft cry and he rushed to the last room on the right side, Harry's room. The door was open and his first look fell on little Harry, sitting in his crib, afraid and crying.

Then he noticed Lily, lying in front of the crib, just as lifeless as her husband.

_Hold on, I still want you_

_Come back, I still need you_

_Let me take your hand, I'll make it right_

_I swear to love you all my life_

_Hold on, I still need you_

Sirius shook his head in denial, this couldn't be true. None of this could be true.

He wanted to scream, but instead he only dug his nails into his hand. He couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

Sirius walked over to Harry, carefully stepping over Lily, and took him into his arms.

This was his fault. The death of his best friends was his fault. The fact that Harry was an orphan was his fault.

He tried to calm Harry down, who was still crying. He held him close, whispering into his ear that everything will be okay, while crying himself.

_I don't wanna let go_

_I know I'm not that strong_

_I just wanna hear you_

_Saying baby, let's go home_

_Let's go home_

_Yeah, I just wanna take you home_

Sirius closed his eyes. 

He will take Harry home. He and Remus will take care of Harry, they will raise him. Sirius was his godfather, after all that's what he was supposed to do. He just wished it would have never happened.

He will make sure Harry gets to know his parents. He will share every memory he had about his chaotic, energetic best friend, who had so much love to share. And about Lily, the smart, beautiful, sassy girl she was.

He will make sure Harry knows how much his parents had loved him, how much he had meant to them.

That was what he could do for James and Lily. He would do his best to take care of their son and there was nothing that could change it.

Oh, if he had known how wrong he was.

_Hold on, I still want you_

_Come back, I still need you_

**Author's Note:**

> CW: corpses, grief


End file.
